You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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