nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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