I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize