Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
