shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
