well I can't set my house on fire every night
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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