How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
