is wine microwaveable?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize