I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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