i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
