Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
