You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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