She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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