A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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