You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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