My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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