Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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