The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
