Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize