No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
