Just took my morning after pill in the library
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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