so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
