gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
