I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
