so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
PANTIES FOUND
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