if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
