Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
