I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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