the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
