I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize