please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
