I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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