drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
