its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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