he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize