Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
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