Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
