He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
false alarm. still invincible.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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