You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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