Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
