Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
