I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
