oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
