he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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