did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
