My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
