i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
