i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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