we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
