i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
