When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
