Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
