It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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