What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
