im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
