Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
