I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
