first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
