So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
