I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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