Already got asked if we're dating
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
