She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
