there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize