Dual....:-)
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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