I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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