who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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