You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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