i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
