I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
