question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
