my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
love makes seman taste better
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
