I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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